You know you've been in the U.A.E. for too long when...

1- You don't even go buy groceries; you are only a phone call / honk away from delivery.
2- You only occupation during weekend nights is clubbing in the hypest nightclub.
3- You judge a person by his job.
4- You need a maid to clean your house / do the dishes / cook for you.
5- You find it normal to spend an hour looking for a parking spot (and end up parking on a sidewalk).
6- You have developed a huge ego and need everything to be the biggest/tallest/highest/prettiest/most expensive..
7- You find wearing a dress stylish (for men) and being covered in black from head to toe attractive (for women).
8- Eating in an small restaurant or Cafeteria is out of the question! (It's dirty, you need 5 star).
9- You know the meaning of the word "wasta" (and you have many).
10- Your social status is measured by your car model.
11- You automatically speak broken english/arabic when you face a south-asian looking person.
12- You smoke too much "medwakh" (local "tobacco" ... more like drug).
13- The best place to hang out on weekend afternoons is the mall.
14- You think flashing your lights while speeding will automatically clear the way in front of you.
15- You use your warning signals in your car when it's a little foggy.
16- You have no plans for the future. Daily routine is great!
17- You can't survive an hour without your phone.
18- When you spot a speed limit, your brain automatically adds 19km/h to it.
19- You drive with one foot up resting next to the steering wheel and play with your toes. (YUK!)
20- You accept any credit card / loan offer from any bank whether you need or need (or you can repay or not).

I guess it's time for me to run away before I end up spending tooooo much time in here! (Does anyone think that a total of 23 years in the UAE is enough already? ;) ).